"... time for a hundred visions and revisions..." ~t.s. eliot

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Bridal Showz: Not Just for Girlz

If you’re a tomboy trying to plan a wedding, I feel your pain. I was the only girl in my family of mountain-climbing, road-biking, long-distance-running maniacs. So the idea of a bridal show made my heart sink and my stomach rise in unison as I pictured a pink-and-white fluffy vortex of femininity that would leave me feeling totally inadequate. But this wedding planning thing is hard for me, and there was a deal for the Phoenix Bridal Expo, and I’m a sucker for deals, and… long story short, I ended up in a convention center with thousands of women for 6 hours yesterday.

And I totally loved it.

This was a big shock. Usually this is not how I would choose to use my time. But it was absolutely a great experience. I managed to get a few things dead right, which I think helped make it great, but also learned some things I would definitely do next time. So for you, here are the six shiniest gems I mined: 

1)  KNOW THYSELF. If you’re a vintage girl who likes books and brown paper, don’t waste your time at the neon pink booth with the giant black-and-white feather bouquets. Just walk past it. It doesn’t matter if they have a killer deal or a drawing going on. You’re not going to like it. Look for the people you actually want to hang out with, and hoof it over there!

2)   KNOW THY BUDGET. I don’t mean know how much you want to spend on the wedding all together. I mean know how much you want to spend per person on catering (including service), how much you want to spend on the venue, how much you want to spend on photography PER HOUR, how much you want to spend on tuxes (both total and per tux), how much you want to spend on decorations, etc. A great place to get budget category ideas is www.weddingwire.com . If you can tell a caterer that you want to spend $20 per person for food, service, and rentals, they can tell you on the spot whether they’re the person for you, and you don’t waste their time and they don’t waste yours.

3)   LOOK NICE. Yes, look pretty and pulled-together, but also be serious about being kind throughout the day. Be interested in their business—this is their passion and represents a giant personal investment for them. Just like you’re meeting dozens of vendors, they’re meeting dozens of brides. Be the bride they want to work with.

4)  LOOK FOR THE START-UPS. There are TONS of big-industry wedding people there, but there are also a lot of start-ups, self-employers, and quirky small-business owners who are genuinely fascinating people. Talk to them. Ask them questions. Remember: these people are going to potentially be at your wedding, and you should be excited about that.

5)  GIVE AND TAKE. Don’t just plan on collecting business cards. Hand ‘em out! You will meet people you want to talk to more, and while it’s great to get their card, make this a real transaction and give them one of yours as well. This is another way to stand out from the crowd and be a memorable bride that they want to work with.

6)  LET THEM GIVE AND TAKE. Remember Piece of Advice Number One? There are deals at these shows that have very short expiration dates, often 24-48 hours. BUT if you can generate a personal connection with the vendor, odds are that you can extend that deadline a week or more. Be straightforward about your needs and let them help you.  

So if you’re getting married any time soon, pick a weekend, strap on your cutest comfy shoes, and get to a bridal show. It’s not all fluffy dogs and pink satin pillows (though if that’s your thing, you will not be disappointed). It’s a chance to get tons of fresh ideas, constructively dream about your big day, and maybe even make some creative, plucky, interesting new friends.

Good luck!


~Jane 

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